After I told my parents what had happened to me, it changed them forever. Perhaps a parent’s worst fear is their child being sexually taken advantage of. Today, the best way to support your child after abuse is to see a counselor for yourself and learn techniques that are useful. I can imagine that adults are just as ill-equipped for this as their children are because of a lack of abuse education.
I’ll let you in on some things that have really helped my parents support me and themselves, but remember, every family is different. Be sure to follow #1 on the “Do” section….
Do:
1. Seek the support of a counselor for yourself, spouse, and child
2. Tell your child that it is okay to be afraid..sad..confused
3. Stay up in the middle of the night with them if they’ve had a nightmare- even if you’re tired
4. Ask them if their comfortable with hugs, cheek kisses, or any physical contact
5. Understand that your child will suffer from anxiety, depression, and possibly suicidal thoughts
6. Tell your child that you’re there for them if they ever need you
7. Treat your child like their emotionally and physically strong
Don’t:
1. Try to “fix” anything. Let your child heal at their own pace. They just need support.
2. Smother them with concern or apologies
3. Let your negative emotions (fear, sadness) control your actions or words
4. Keep your child from going out with their friends or on a date
5. Raise your voice or use ultimatums when communicating
6. Treat them as if their fragile
Becoming A Warrior 